Ahhh Music

Or more specifically AHHHHH to MY music. Thats right, you non-genera fitting, wordy, piles of something that i can't quite put my finger on. You frustrate the shit out of me.

So....that's what i would say to my music if i could look my music in the face. But then again, it is always so hard to hurt someone you love. And i do love my music, maybe that is the problem.

So where i am....We'll i've changed my path on the whole demo thing. Instead of just a "demo" I'm opting for a full length cd. Well if full length is ten songs, then yeah..full lengh. I've gone out on my own on this one and am funding it myself. I am also considering having it produced by someone other than me. Things are looking good in that area, so we'll see. I have to say that it terrifies me, the thought of handing my songs over to someone else but maybe i am too close to them. So we are meeting next week to discus that option....we'll see. But as for the moment, i am down and discouraged and hating myself, and let me tell you, when you hate yourself, your kinda screwed until you get over it. lol. Anyway..i'll bounce back....i always do right? 

Sleeping Toddlers and CD's

 So Ava is sleeping after a fun day of Moe's Burritos, soft play, Thomas the Train and Chia. That girl absolutely wears me out most days. Anyway,..today i woke up with an overwhelming sense of mommy guilt because yesterday was so busy and i think she spent about four hours with the sitter. Plus, this evening i'll be out late recording the last couple tracks that i need, one for my demo, (notice pic) and two for the purpose of actually securing gig's that pay on a regular basis. What ever the reason i am so excited to have something to send to folks who want to know if they can buy a cd. Thanks to my friend Michael, who also sings and plays guitar with me here in Savannah, i have been able to record and play locally. There are three people that i owe my writing and the music that i have created over the past year, and even my playing at all. Those people are in order, First my dad, because the very day that i gave birth to Ava, he bought me a bran new Martin, mind you i hadn't played guitar seriously for many, many years. When things got really bad for me about the time Ava was about 7 months old i turned to my guitar and wrote "Maybe." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rM9yI6OWuxs&feature=channel_page

The song doesn't sound like much, but it hurt like hell to admit that maybe i was having a hard time, and that maybe i was hard to be around because of it. The second person, who could also be the first because he always told me that music was my real talent, is my husband Hugo. When I was down, or when i hadn't written in a while he would tell me how much he believed in my music and how much he loved my songs.  Then lastly is Michael. I probably get on his nerves and drive him crazy with all my music stuff, but he will always be more special to me than he knows, for the fact that one day, out of the blue, when we hadn't spoken for a while, he emailed me, and basically said that he thought i was too talented to quit writing and that he would help me in any way that he could.....so here i am....back on track and with a handful of songs that my not be catchy or pop, but that mean everything to me......well i hear Ava so i'd better go.........  

All This....

  So i am doubting that anyone will ever read this, but i have been tossing around the idea for a while of Vloging, but can't seem to get up the nerve. And being an avid writer, songs...journals, stories, i guess this makes more sense. And the idea that no one may ever read this is also freeing. At the moment Ava is at the sitters house. I'll pick her up at four because i forgot to leave the car seat so that her dad can grab her on his way home. Argh! So this precious little time that i have alone is priceless. Long story short, my husband and i live in Georgia far away from any family members and i have one, only one, sitter who is in and out of the country. I keep telling myself that i will find someone else for back up, but it is so hard to find someone who you can really trust with your babies. Anyway, so i told myself that i was taking her to the sitter's so that i could tackle my house work and laundry, but here i am on the computer, finding another way to let people into my life. As if MySpace, Facebook, Twitter and my drug of choice Youtube, weren't enough. lol. So i guess this blogging thing will be filled with all my artistic angst mixed in with the struggles of balancing wife and mother duties. So here it is my first blog, i'll be sure to check back in, probably tonight, with a cocktail in hand:)